EvilPhoEniX

A 12-minute bonus feature from Insidious starring Lin Shaye. Unpleasant atmosphere and chills guaranteed. Decent. 8/10.

Thanks to Netflix, the climax of this magnificent Japanese samurai saga is now available and it's solid, though I have a few reservations. “Runo Kenshin” is a series that never managed to grow on me. The film beautifully shot, the choreography of the fights is thoroughly worked out, it's very good to watch, but I'm bothered by the main character. He has taken a vow not to kill anyone else and that's a stumbling block for me. Watching a samurai fighting against hundreds of opponents that don't spurt blood (he has a blunt blade) is quite a shame and also a bit of an excuse not to make a proper R-rated movie. I could imagine “Mortal Kombat” fatalities, a proper carnage; I'd probably be purring with bliss while watching it, but this way it left me pretty cold, and that's a shame because there's not much competition right now. The film is almost two and a half hours long and the real action doesn't start until the final third. During the first hour and a half there isn’t much, which does affect the pacing and entertainment a bit. I never really cared much for the characters or the story, so I found myself sitting through the conversational passages waiting for them to start fighting again. I like that the Japanese style is very much in evidence, those manga-anime elements are felt at every turn, and I loved the diverse villains but with their own fighting style, weapon, crazy hairstyle, I like that a lot. The visuals are spectacular too, you can see the money there, and, as I’ve already mentioned, the choreography is thrilling, you can see that everyone has worked up a good sweat, it's very fast and spectacular, very nice to see, but the blood is sadly lacking for me to be completely enthusiastic. Maybe I'll see it in a prequel, where Kenshin should be killing his opponents, although I'm afraid they'll turn it into a romantic drama about his wife, which I can’t be bothered with. Story 4/5, Action 4/5, Humor>No, Violence 2/5, Entertainment 4/5 Music 4/5, Visuals 5/5, Atmosphere 4/5, Suspense 3/5. 7.5/10.

I had heard praise for Censor from the festivals, but after watching the trailer I had a bit of a hunch that this would not be my cup of tea, and it wasn't. Fortunately Censor has some sense and is only 80 minutes long, so it doesn't manage to bore you to the point of being annoying, tiring, and disgusting. In terms of horror, there is not much to stand for, the atmosphere is almost absent, there is no gore to be seen, except for one or two scenes, the suspense is missing and it is not even downright fun. On the other hand, it has a few good things. The story about a woman who censors films is quite interesting and offers an attractive look behind the scenes, it seems like a thankless job, a few old references (Deranged and I Spit on your Grave), and the retro style with colors reminiscent of giallo is also quite interesting; I also liked the nostalgia for VHS and video nasties, which will be especially appreciated by the older audience. What bothered me is that that we watch the main character watching violence in movies, but unfortunately we have to figure everything out, I hate that and take it as a provocation. All in all, it's a pretty decent and noteworthy affair that brought a slight breath of fresh air to horror, but at the same time doesn't bring anything for the viewer to cheer about. Story 3/5, Action>No, Humour>No, Violence 2/5, Entertainment 3/5 Music 3/5, Visuals 3/5, Atmosphere 2/5, Suspense 2/5. 5.5/10.

I was afraid it would be worse. In the end, it's a passable animated one-shot about a boy's friendship, but it's not quite what I'd expect from an animated film. For one thing, there's a lack of proper action, there's damn little humour (I can't imagine the kids having much fun with it), and the animation is traditionally fine, but nothing groundbreaking. Raya and the Last Dragon and The Mitchells vs. the Machines are two levels above and closer to me in genre and theme without question. Still, Luca is alright to kill a boring evening. Story 3/5, Action 2/5 Humour 3/5 Violence >No, Fun 3/5 Music 3/5, Visuals 4/5, Atmosphere 2/5, Suspense 2/5. 6/10.

Very impressive CGI animation with quite an interesting dark look (great airplane design). It's a pity that there was no action and it the story doesn't really tell anything, either, but it's nice to watch, yeah. 6/10.

F*ck you Katla! You owe me six hours of my Life!! Katla is a series about a volcano, without a volcano! I can't think of a worse way to spend six hours in the last two years than watching Katla. Objectively, it would be somewhere between two and three stars, but I downright suffered through it, even considering and escort service halfway through to be able to finish. There is a real risk of bodily harm from boredom here! There should be awards for such voluntary torture. I did like the warning before the last episode that there would be suicide, so anyone prone to it had better avoid watching. The creators probably didn't count on the viewer wanting to commit suicide while watching Katla! Baltasar Kormákur has made a name for himself and I was looking forward to the series after the trailer (even naively hoping for some monsters), but got no volcano! The show stagnates from the first episode to the last, it doesn't really go anywhere, nothing really substantial or interesting happens, there's a bunch of unlikeable characters living boring ordinary lives solving boring ordinary problems. So sci-fi 10%, mystery 10%, drama=80%. Everything I hate multiplied by two! I could praise the decent visuals and the impressive setting and landscape, but the volcano is shown for maybe twenty minutes out of the six hours, so a huge disappointment in that respect too. Instead, it deals with family problems, and if someone can enjoy that I envy them, but it’s really not what I wanted. In addition, there are some characters – presumably clones, who knows – that are supposed to be the mystery element, so you at least hope they would pose a threat to the neighborhood. I was expecting a collapse of civilisation! Nope, instead they just blend in to lead ordinary boring lives (lounging on the couch and watching TV, really?!). The behaviour of some of the characters is really borderline (the mother, WTF?). The whole thing didn’t really make sense to me in the end. There are a few ordinary unsurprising twists, but there's a lot of drama, emotion and depression, after all that's more interesting than and apocalyptic event or the collapse of civilization. It's a pity that a potentially attractive premise has been turned into a completely ordinary and all-too normal drama, which didn't impress me with a single scene in the whole six hours, and that's saying something. Unrewarding, extreme slow-burn, without suspense, atmosphere or anything shocking. After it was over, I flew off to buy a bottle of whiskey and celebrated that I had successfully watched it. Probably the most physically demanding cinematic challenge of my life. Story***, Action>No, Humor>No, Violence>One Scene, Entertainment Zero, Music**, Visuals***, Atmosphere*, Suspense- Absent. 3/10

The Ballerina feels like a remake of Suspiria. Not as disgusting and crazy as Suspiria, but still sufficiently disturbing and chilling, with decent cinematography and not exactly cheap technical aspects. 7/10.

This is a blast! A boorish husband abuses his wife by constantly asking for sandwiches until she gets tired of it and the whole situation escalates really well. The final scene is shocking and properly unpleasant. Loved it. 8/10.

Interestingly shot and very weird. I have absolutely no idea what was going on, but it was creepy and uncomfortable enough to make it work. 7/10.

Definitely an unenviable situation. If I was the main character, I would run away as fast as I could! The Smiling Man is a pretty creepy character. Too bad it's so short, but the atmosphere works. 6/10.