Bitch Slap

Sem uma loira?! Imperdoável! E conceptualmente pouco sensato, também, porque em flashbacks em que as heroínas mudam furiosamente de guarda-roupa e imagem geral, o espetador fica muitas vezes confuso com elas. De outro modo, uma bobagem divertida de baixo orçamento em que as personagens agem como idiotas às vezes, e que está cheia exatamente do que faltava ao bonzinho Sucker Punch: Mundo Surreal de Snyder. Quer dizer, sexo, sexo e sexo. (31/05/2012)

Alright, let’s not be too serious and give this a rating. Bitch Slap is one of those movies that's nearly impossible to judge by normal standards. Subjectively, it's a mess. Objectively, it's also a mess. But, weirdly enough, it still has something going for it. The "story" (if you can call it that) is basically three women in the middle of the desert, constantly getting soaked in water (or, more likely, oil), swinging pickaxes, showing off their bodies, and at one point even shooting sparks out of their asses and just taking off. It’s impossible to take seriously. It’s like a parody of every action movie and a full-on playbook of what dudes apparently find exciting, served with the most over-the-top irony imaginable. (28/05/2012)

This is the horniest 100 minutes of the year featuring three divine females and a director with his brain in his balls and a libido off the charts. There’s nothing more fun a guy could ask for at the end of the year. A plot based on flashbacks, a CIA weapon prototype, Hercules, and endless shots of boobs and asses in the longest camera slow-motion since Transformers 2. It doesn't make sense, but it's a film full of catchphrases and it’s anti-feminist entertainment that, while actually stuck on a backwater desert road, moves faster than a lubricated one. It is indeed the perfect antagonism of Twilight. :) (28/12/2009)