Vampire Hookers

One of the many contributions of the Filipino B-movie maker Ciria H. Santiaga to the collection of the most degraded film entertainment. This time featuring the exhausted John Carradine, who is struggling at the bottom of his acting talents, while his son is experiencing the most fruitful period of his career, appearing in films by directing giants such as Martin Scorsese, Hal Ashby, and Ingmar Bergman at the same time. Santiago, however, approaches his directing skills more to the qualities of Ed Wood than to any of the abovementioned, and the result fully corresponds to it. Vampire Hookers is rightfully a forgotten B-movie affair for connoisseurs and film masochists who enjoy watching utterly stupid films, where not even proper extras appear, so it's no problem to notice people staring at the camera during scenes set in crowded streets of Manila. From the title Vampire Hookers I might have expected a bit more erotica and nudity of beautiful vampires - however, a slightly greater amount of it awaits in the last third of the film, in a long-lasting softcore bed sequence - otherwise, it's all quite tame. So if you expect something from the rank of Jesús Franco and similar, stay away. The most memorable aspect of the film is the farting servant/madman played by Vic Diaz, a completely nonsensical conclusion full of WTF moments (WTF even in the context of B-movies), and also a very catchy title song, which can be heard during the closing credits, containing the brilliant chorus "Vampire Hookers, and blood is not all they suck!" - that one won't easily leave my head. Since I belong to the seekers of such stinky gems from the cinematographic septic tank, I quite enjoyed the film within its possibilities. Vampire Hookers doesn't really deserve it, but it will get those 2 stars from me. After all, unlike many other B-movies, it's not that boring - and that's appreciated! (26/01/2019)

The American film Vampire Hookers is not very good. It tries to save face with some weird moments in the script at the end, but otherwise, this is a film that relies on pretty women showing very nice breasts and the fact that even though they are vampires, they also wear panties. There's a lot of humor, but most of it isn't funny, and you won't find any horror moments in the film at all. That’s too bad because it could have at least been more erotic. (02/08/2019)

With this movie, Cirio H. Santiago could have easily aspired to be the Filipino Ed Wood. This is hard-to-evaluate trash, in which everything is terrible except for the song playing over the end credits, which will leave you singing  in your head for days after: "Vampire Hookers ... and blood is not all they suck!" Other unforgettable highlights are also a farting manservant played by Vic Diaz, extras staring blankly into the camera, and probably the dumbest climax someone could have thought up. (04/02/2019)